My husband and I are in the process of adopting, and it’s been a much longer journey than I ever expected it to be.
We felt called to adopt in at the end of 2015, and here we are – almost 4 years later, and still no babies.
I don’t say this so you’ll feel bad for us! I don’t feel bad for us!
I know God’s timing is perfect, and I’m excited to see how our adoption story unfolds.
I share this because I’ve been learning so much along the way. I’m learning that I can’t maintain control of my life if I’m going to follow Jesus.
I’m learning that just because I accepted His call to adoption, doesn’t mean our adoption story is going to turn out just the way I think it should.
As a matter of fact, we’ve already changed so much about what we thought it would look like early on, because we’ve realized He has something else in mind – something greater than us completing our perfect little family and living happily ever after.
It’s really not about making us happy, and it’s not about what we’re comfortable with…
In today’s episode, I want talk to you about letting go of control.
It’s so funny, and frustrating, how as humans – we think we know best.
How many times does God call us to something, and when we finally decide to step into that calling, it’s with a list of things a mile long – what we think should happen, when it should happen, how, with who…
It’s like – even in our surrendering, we want to hold on to control.
Well, here’s a little newsflash…
(And trust me, I think I’ve been learning this the hard way… I want to spare you!)
Surrendering means letting go of control.
ALL of it.
You stop resisting and give yourself COMPLETELY to Him.
After all, He does know WAY more than we do – His thoughts are higher – His plans are better… He’s putting pieces together that we can’t even begin to imagine!
And in spite of knowing (or claiming we know) this – we look around and put our limitations on God. We still fight to maintain a bit of control. Based on what we see, feel, or know – we put God in a box.
We decide adoption is about what feels the most normal, or comfortable.
What does that mean for us? A baby that looks just like us? A closed adoption so we don’t have to worry about the messiness an open adoption might bring with it?
But, what if God is saying – I want you to adopt so you can make a difference in that birth parent’s life, or that baby’s grandma is going to want a relationship and you’re going to lead her to Jesus.
What if His adoption plan is about our family being a visual representation of the Church to our community, and when they look at us they see diversity being celebrated and loved.
How sad to think that we could miss out on all that because we think our adoption story should look a certain way.
We’ll even look at someone else’s calling, and we’re determined that ours will look exactly the same. But, why should it? Why should God be confined to cookie-cutter callings?
Sometimes, it’s fear that keeps us holding on to control. Fear of the unknown… we really hate the “not knowing”.
I like to have everything planned out. I don’t like change, and I like things to go as expected.
But, I have to remind myself that I don’t have all the details.
I don’t know it all, but I’m following the One is all knowing. And He will make sure it all turns out perfectly, for my good and according to His good pleasure.
Things do NOT have to go my way.
That’s not an easy pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
Things really have to go HIS way!
My husband and I are planting a church Seattle and I’ve found myself fighting for control in this, too.
We started the church in Belltown (a downtown neighborhood) and I LOVE being in the city. We live close to where we have church, and to be honest – I think it’s cool to have a church right in the middle of the city.
Ah, pride! Another reason we try to hang on to control.
We’ve recently been feeling like it’s time to move the church to another Seattle neighborhood so we can focus on reaching families. Families aren’t really the demographic of the downtown areas.
Thankfully, I’m ready! I can see the benefits and I know God is moving us in that direction for a reason…
But, there was a season that I fought it. All because of a silly feeling that – it’s not as cool as being downtown. So foolish! And selfish!
Every time God has moved us to a new building (even though it’s all been the Belltown neighborhood so far), there’s been a shift spiritually. He’s added to the church.
And the truth is, wherever He moves us will put in the perfect place to reach someone new – which is what it’s all about! That’s WHY we’re here digging out a work in Seattle!
But part of me wanted to stay where we are because of pride. What will people think if we move into a neighborhood? What if they think we just couldn’t make it work downtown?
All of these foolish thoughts that, if allowed, could keep us from something greater than we ever imagined.
This is God’s church. He called us here. He’s the one who gives the increase. So it’s most definitely best to let go of control and go where He sends us and do what He wants us to.
I know it’s hard when we don’t see or understand everything, but we must take our hands off and surrender control.
What is it for you?
You may already be identifying the places in your life where you’ve felt the struggle. You’ve been pushing back a little.
Can I encourage you today? He can handle it. He holds you in the palm of His hand and He’s promised to work all things for the good to those who are called according to His purpose.
He knows and sees all the things you don’t. And in His infinite wisdom and limitless power, He will create a masterpiece of a story with your life.
Our lives don’t have to look the way we think it should. The sooner we let ourselves be ok with that, the better.
Or maybe you’re just diving into something new – a new project, calling, ministry mission… and you’re on cloud nine and ready to go anywhere and do anything…
Awesome! Keep that attitude!
Just determine that no matter what happens on this journey, He knows best! It won’t all look perfect or easy or tidy to these human eyes, but as long as we let Him have control, we’ll look back when it’s all said and done and be amazed at what He accomplished through us.
Decide that this is where it starts. A new season of trust and surrender. Take a deep breath and let go of control.
As I mentioned in this episode, we are on an adoption journey and this month I want to give you a chance to be a part of our story!
We’ve had an adorable custom puzzle made that says,
“This is the start of your sweet little story, the part where your page meets ours. No matter where this tale takes you tomorrow, our story will always read LOVE”
We are “selling” the pieces for $10/each.
When you buy a piece, we write your name on the back.
When we adopt, we’ll put the puzzle together and our child will have a keepsake with the names of the incredible people who were a part of the story.
You can learn more by visiting www.brittaniscott.com/adopt